Copy before and after

Over the years, I have spent many hours creating and gathering the best examples of my work to showcase my skills as a copywriter. And while a portfolio is great for showing my writing samples, it doesn’t truly reflect the process of copywriting and fulfilling a client brief.

Often, copywriting means creating something out of nothing, but it can also be about improving what you already have. So today I thought I’d share some flyer copy I wrote for a bed & breakfast several months ago that illustrates how copy can be transformed.

I have stripped away all of the visual and design elements and kept the text in Times New Roman, so you can see the copy in its rawest form—just black ink on a white page.

Here is the copy before:

As you can see, there is nothing inherently wrong with the text above, apart from a couple of grammatical errors. It is informative and tells us what we need to know. But considering this is a promotional flyer, it could be better.

The client brief was to convey the hospitality, comfort and sustainability of country living. They wanted to give the impression of a home away from home, where you can relax and enjoy time away from the stress and demands of daily life. They wanted to target holiday makers looking to stay somewhere away from the usual ‘Mallorca’ type of holiday and experience the ‘real Mallorca’, away from the crowds and into nature.

Here is how I updated their copy to reflect the brief:

The updated copy still contains the same information as before, but it is more visually descriptive. Words like “reconnect”, “peaceful” and “timeless charm” evoke the sense of comfort that the client wanted in their messaging. It also has the all-important call to action at the end.

I hope that this example gives you an idea of how your copy can be improved in the smallest way, yet still make a huge difference to your overall message. If you’re looking to spruce up your copy, or just want some advice on how you can approach it, send me an email at contact@thewriteimpact.com.au and we can have a chat about your needs!